Ahna's Story

Ahna's story

Last summer (2013) in June marked 9 months since our second son Abram was born. We had chosen not to take any type of pregnancy preventative measures besides breast-feeding ever since the day Abram was born. We both had an overwhelming feeling that we wanted a third child even days after coming home from the hospital with him. We put it in gods hands and decided not to fret over it and that we would just not try to prevent it, but we would see what happened. And sure enough at nine months of age (abram) we found out we were expecting our third child. We were elated!  We called family and we told them the great news.  We knew it was soon to tell people but we figured we had waited with every other pregnancy,  and I had never had any complications, so we spread the word like wildfire to our families.

   I don't regret telling them because in the next few weeks I would really need them.

Loss

     I don't feel as though I should get into detail but within one week of finding out we were pregnant we had no choice but to give back our tiny baby to the loving arms of The Lord. I was devastated, I had already fell in love with this child and it was one of the hardest things to have had to go through. I was sad.I was angry. I was jealous of other people getting pregnant and keeping their pregnancy all while I vowed to never have another child. I would plead with god to give the baby back one minute then the next I would curse my own body for letting me and the baby down. Matt grieved silently as he informed the family, something I was not willing to do. 

    By the beginning of July I had began accepting what had happened and we just decided to move on with our lives. We were content with our two boys and the thought of trying again for another baby was difficult to say the least.  We put it to the backs of our minds. During this time we were approached with a big decision. Matt's niece and nephews had been taken into foster care a year earlier and were now looking for a permanent home. Knowing we could not take all three of them we decided to take the youngest boy, he was five at the time. Trying for that other baby was pretty much eliminated from our minds. JD (our nephew) moved in the end of July. Life began to move on and we got really busy. Our rental house was too small so we bought a bigger house that needed a lot of work. Between taking care of three children, getting ready for

Kindergarten (a lot Sooner then we had anticipated) and doing constant construction on a house for a month, you could imagine how surprised we were to find out that at the end of September we were, in fact, pregnant again. Our hearts sank and skipped a beat all at the same time. We had already decided that we were done after JD moved in,  that this must be God's way of giving us that third child. We were wrong. I took a pregnancy test every morning for two weeks just to keep watching the line get darker and darker. We didn't tell the kids or my family for quite a while, let alone announce it to the world Untill 20 weeks, we were ,for obvious reason, very hesitant. 

At 20 weeks our dreams came true, IT'S A GIRL! After 3 beautiful boys we finally get to experience a baby girl. All fears subsided and we couldn't have been happier. The boys were also very excited. JD was upset we could no longer name the baby Darth Vader.

June 18th 2014

At 39.3 weeks, after being almost 5cm for a week without any real labor I woke up at 1am to one extreme contraction. It made me sit up in bed, and cower in pain. Within 1hour contractions had gotten 5 min apart. We literally live on a mountain, we have to go down a pass to get to the hospital, it is about an hour drive. It was 2am and all the kids were sleeping. I called my mom and asked her to come to us instead of us bringing the kids down and waking them. It took my parents about an hour to get to us. At this point I can barley walk. The pain was intense. 

    Matt drove like a man on a mission, blowing stop lights and speeding down a dark mountian pass. I kept telling him to slow down but secretly I was glad because I needed to get to the hospital. He made it in 30 minutes. 

     Once there we found out I was 6cm, they could feel her head, and my bag of water was buldging out. Weird,I know.  Contractions were 3 minutes apart and baby was head down but turned to the side.  Not an ideal way to deliver, and the cause of extreme back labor. I was taken from triage and admitted at 3:30 AM.  Once in my room they were drawing blood, starting IVs, and giving me the epidural. I have to say I was pretty proud of myself because right after receiving the epidural they checked me and I was almost  8 cm. I felt like I made it pretty far without medical intervention. Being a huge wuss, this was quite the accomplishment.

    At 7 AM the doctor came in and broke my water . I very quickly went from 8 cm to 10 cm.  however I refused to tell anyone that I needed to push because it is my least favorite part.  This being my third child I decided I was going to do it my way.  The epidural is really good so the pressure wasn't unbearable and I labored down for about an hour. Matt finally said that he was skeptical that I was lying about not feeling any pressure. Which I was lying to the nurse, but I didn't lie to my husband. I knew what contractions are there for and I just let my body do the work instead of pushing for two hours. And it worked.  They checked me around 830am I was 10 cm and her head was already crowning. They suited up, got everything ready, and one push later our sweet little Ahna Dianne  was born. 8:58am on June 18th ( her great-grandmother Rita's birthday) she weighed 7lbs 12 oz and 20 1/4in long. She is our angel, our last baby, our surprise and our heart healer. To say we love her is an understatement. Her name means gracious, full of grace and favor. And that's exactly what she means to us. God showed us grace in giving us her after such a loss. And I know she will continue to show grace to others in her life. 

Our family is complete.

Abram's Story

                      

Abram Dean Blake was born at 1:28am September 27th 2012. He was 7lbs 4oz. This is his story.

               On the way home from an impromptu visit to Colorado over New Years (2011-2012) My husband (Matt) said he wanted to ask me a question. It was very late, very dark, and we were in the car somewhere between Denver and Nebraska.  Asher was sleeping in his car seat, he was 9 months old. Matt said, "Now don't freak out but what do you think about having another baby, soon." Like most women, we all say we aren't ready or try to find financial reasons not too, but when it comes down to it and our loving, protecting husbands ask us for another child, we melt and instantly all fears erase and we say yes. So that's what I did. Apparently my mother and oldest sister had given him advice on the subject. My mother having had 3 children with less than a year apart for each, told him it would all work out if that's what we wanted. We did want that, we wanted our children to be close in age, to get diapers done all at once, to have a few years of sleepless nights all at once. We didn't want to start the process over with any subsequent children. Now I know this is not something most people wish for, but it was our desire.  This was January 3rd, we started trying immediately. Near the end of January a company located outside of Denver Colorado approached Matt about a job opportunity. We were elated. We had been trying to get back to Colorado for some time, and this was our ticket. We had 1 weekend to decide, and 2 weeks before he started his job. We decided to stop "trying" for a baby. The timing seemed terrible, we were going to have to live with my parents because we could not afford to maintain our house in Minnesota and pay rent in Colorado. Life was changing fast and a baby was now furthest from our minds. Matt called the company on a Friday and negotiated a few things, and accepted the position. The following Monday, after feeling really tired for the entire weekend I decided to take a pregnancy test. The test looked negative. I finished fixing my hair and was about to throw the test away when I noticed a ridiculously faint line. I immediately got Asher into the car, and we drove to Wal-Mart in what was a mini blizzard of sorts and I got a digital test. PREGNANT flashed across the screen. OH MY GOSH. My mind was racing. How do I tell Matt? Should we still move? I'm going to go from owning my own home to having another baby while living at my parents? I was grinning from ear to ear with a sort of terrified look in my eyes. It was quiet the face.

                Matt was working out of town that day/night so his father drove Asher and myself to meet Matt at Red Lobster after work. I'm sure my father in law was confused as to why we were going to meet him but he did it anyways without question. I passed the test under the table to Matt, and in true Matt Blake fashion, he about lost it. Jaw on the floor, and like me, wondering what the hell we were going to do next. Believe me, we think babies are HUGE blessings, but no matter what 1st or 2nd child, we both freak out at first.  So there began Abram's story. Started trying on the January 3rd, was pregnant on the 7th, found out the last few days of January.  You could chalk it up to being really fertile, I say god wanted us to have this baby, so he made it happen before we could try and change his plan.

                I was really sick the first 5-6 months. Worse than with Asher.  I clung to the thought of each appointment, hearing the heartbeat, seeing his little body on the ultrasounds. He kept his legs closed until 30 weeks, that's when we knew for sure he was a he. We were elated to have 2 little boys so close in age, to share things, play together, and eventually wrestle with. By 35 weeks I was ready to be done, as with most mommies. I am not your typical "I love being pregnant mom", I'm more of the "This can't last forever, please god don't let it last forever, I just want this baby out of me NOW" kind of mom. I'm no good at being pregnant, to me it's just an inevitable step towards the real prize of holding my child. I had been put on a modified best rest of sorts, no lifting, not even my 17 month old. I was having contraptions, 10 min apart on and off. Side note: My husband was offered another job once we got out to Colorado, it was an even more amazing opportunity that allowed him to stop commuting the hour to Denver from Colorado Springs, and was in Management, so we took it. This left us paying COBRA insurance for the last 3 months of my pregnancy. We chose to risk it after COBRA rates went up to $1200 a month. I only had to be without insurance for 10 days, I was 37 weeks pregnant. In anticipation for this my DR put me on the modified bed rest so we could make it to when our new insurance started, and we did. Also, during this time we were finally able to move into our own place, I couldn't help move anything, my husband is so amazing as he did a lot of it himself.

                 At my 39 week appointment I walked into the Dr's office, hadn't had a contraction for a week or so. I was miserably sore, huge, and praying for some sort of progress. In fact, I had been praying that entire week. Sure enough, I was almost 5 centimeters. The DR politely said, "go home, pack your bag, go get supper with your husband and son, meet me at the hospital at 7pm so we can have this baby." I was shocked. So I walked out and did just that.

LABOR AND DELIVERY

                We got to the hospital by 6:30 where the nurse already had everything set up for me to get my epidural if I wanted it. I wasn't in any sort of labor pain, so I didn't know what I should do. Matt talked me into getting the epidural sooner than later, which was a wise decision. The Doctor showed up about 8pm and broke my water. This is where it got scary. My eyes rolled back and my face got pail (so I am told) and I essentially passed out. My blood pressure had dropped into the 40's and so did Abram's. The nurse pumped some medication into my IV and got me back to normal. I had no idea what happened. Unfortunalty we found out, after a lot of tries, that every time I moved to my back or my left side, Abram and my heart rate would plummet.  I was in no physical pain, but burdened with a lot of emotional pain, and fear. Matt was able to sleep, but awoke every time the monitors would go off warning the nurses one of our heart rates was dropping. This happened many times. But  after a few hours finally things seemed to stabilize, I would stay on my right side, they gave me patocin to hurry things along so I wouldn't have to be C-sectioned, and  I was at 6 Centimeters. I closed my eyes to try and sleep and suddenly felt a weird sensation, almost a thud, and some pressure. It only caused me to slightly open my eyes, so I  closed them again to try and sleep. Suddenly all I heard was Dings, and beeps and the door thrashing open. Voices, lots of voices, people grabbing utensils and the Doctor getting suited up. Matt jumped off the couch, and the nurses told me I needed to roll on my back and start pushing. I was horrified. I began sobbing, I didn't know what happened. I demanded answers. The head nurse was in my room along with 2 baby nurses, my regular nurse, another nurse, and the Doctor. Abram had descended down the birth canal too quickly and had caused me to dilate from a 6 to a 10 in seconds, from this they had  completely lost  Abram's heartbeat, and needed to get him out. I pushed 6 times, until I heard the Doctor tell me to stop. "1,2,3." That's all she said, Matt's face looked troubled, and then they said to push once more, and he was out. Matt cut his cord, which he had never done before, I was so proud. I had been in labor a total of 5 hours, pushed/labored down for 10 minutes. I felt no contractions my entire labor and delivery, no physical pain at all. I think God knew that my mind was going to be racing, and my fear would be blinding, so he gave me the option to be without pain. I am so thankful.

              

             Later Matt told me why the Doctor was counting. Abram's cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times. This, the doctor told me, was why his heart rate kept dropping. After a trip to the nursery to be monitored for low oxygen levels, Abram was finally given the all clear and clean bill of health.  Our sweet baby boy got to meet his big brother and our family grew by two tiny hands and two tiny feet. After his traumatic entrance into the world, it has been nothing but smooth sailing. He is a dream, he barley cries and is full of smiles. I am so grateful that gods plans will always outweigh our own.

               

          Abram's name means "A father to many nations" and I pray he will lead a life of giving and gratitude, that everyone he meets will see a spark in him, that he will fear and serve the lord with all of his heart, and that Abram's story will be one worth telling over and over.

A New Demographic

Life is constantly trying to test you.  Your plans are never good enough and always fall through. The great part is that if you let him god will pick up your plans and reshape them into his own. With a little faith and a lot of patience we all eventually end up lounging back after the fact and laughing about how worked up we got. Things always work out, if you believe you are not in the drivers seat and god is. The minute we try to take control is when it all falls apart.

It has been approximately 3 and 1/2 years since I told Matt I wanted nothing more to be happy then to move back to Minnesota from Colorado and finish school. Matt had been trying for a long time to get back to Colorado ever since his parents made him move to Minnesota in 9th grade. And after only 10 months he loved me enough to return to Minnesota. Neither of us have ever been the same.  Minnesota has given us so much, a house, a baby, family, school, great jobs, but it has never been Colorado. We knew eventually we would get back there but never in a million years thought this soon. One week ago me and Matt prayed for him to get a job in colorado at a certain company. Three days later Matt received a phone call on Thursday night, and offer letter Friday afternoon and accepted it soon after, all with a contingency he start work Monday January 30th. 

Here we go again, hopefully for the last time. How can we say no, the timing is horrible but the opportunity amazing. As I sit here trying not to get physically ill just thinking about all we have to do to get ready, I am also truly amazed at Matt's strength. He is happy and not scared. He knows god is behind all of this so why be scared? He gives me so much hope and my nerves seem to subside more and more. We got this, gods got this. We had 3 wonderful months in Albert lea with friends and family and now we start our new chapter. Asher's will be climbing mountains before we know it. 

I have to remind myself that this is what I wanted, god gives our hearts desires but he picks out the timing, so just because it's fast and soon does not mean it isn't what We have been asking for. I mean we prayed for it, god answered, if anything it is perfectly amazing.

We will be living in Colorado springs until we figure out where we would like to land permanently. Which is likely to be someone a little closer to denver but that's down the road. Please if you ever vacation out that way let us know. Otherwise thank you for all of your support and love, we are truly blessed. 



Prayer is powerful so be prepared...

Turns Out I Have Learned A Few Things

It has been nine months since I had my son Asher, So I thought it fitting to blog about what I have learned in those 9 months. I remember wondering how in the heck I am going to do this mother thing, I spent 9 months planning for a delivery but got no time to plan to be a parent. I had to learn it on the fly. Now that I have been raising Asher as long as it took me to "grow" him in my tummy, (all you moms know its really 10 months) I think its time to share my knowledge.

Why Don't They Write THIS in Books?

-You can get everything done in the shower in five minutes. I didn't say done well.

 

- although my husband may disagree, shaving only to my knee 4 out of 5 times still counts as shaving my legs

 

- when taking a shower while someone else watches your baby ( not just an exersaucer) it's very much like those trips to the salon/ spa I remember pre pregnancy. 

 

- once your baby figures out how "cool" the bathroom is, it instantly becomes condemned and the door can never be opened without adult supervision.

 

- flushing the toilet and using toilet paper is a normal part of my life, to the baby, it is THE BEST TOY EVER!!!

 

- doing your hair or make-up becomes a weird paparazzi situation, where baby just stares at you forever wondering what the heck are you doing. then finally goes and gets into trouble

 

-babies don't understand privacy,forget to latch the bathroom door and he will come bustin through wanting to stand next to the toilet and touch you or beg to sit on your lap. 

 

- babies do not understand why we grab them so fast and wash their hands immediately after we catch them playing in toilet water. To them, we are nuts.

 

- your babies head is actually a helmet, and it will be tested countless times on the kitchen floor, coffee table, and dining room chairs

 

- checking your babies pupils to make sure there isn't a concussion becomes normal

 

- no matter what the dr says, teeth and breastfeeding don't mix well

 

- anything plugged into the wall, electronic, expensive and breakable trumps any  fancy or favorite toy your baby once had.

 

- babies are cruel to other babies, parents think its sooo cute for them to play together but it's a baby battlefield 

 

- thinking about giving baby a nickname? Don't. My son will be 20 years old assuming his name is Boo Boo. Chances are he will have a yogi bear complex

 

- although I don't wish it in my worst enemy, during the cry it out phase/ everyday tantrums I almost grabbed my bible to see what it had to say on the subject of possession.

 

- separation anxiety brings out the whiniest baby, it reminds you of your mother saying " I hope your child is just like you" 

 

- the feeling you get when your baby finally learns something you have been teaching them for days even weeks is comparable to the joy of your most favorite memory of all time

 

-building barriers to keep baby in a certain area using chairs, gates, boxes, and other random objects can take foooreevveerr, it usually only takes baby 3 minutes to figure out a way around them

 

- the dog needs to learn he is a toy, if not, get rid of him

 

- plant foliage and dirt are tasty, and when thrown up, smell the worst out of anything 

 

- you may think your tough, but certain baby poop will break you 

 

- a sick baby trumps any plans and breaks your heart, it takes about a billion hugs and kisses to heal it

 

- you will learn to live with a lot less money, and it makes you stronger, a better cook, and an all around genius when it comes to making cool baby toys, watch out Pinterest.

 

- dont cry over the loss of pre-baby intimacy with the hubby, rejoice in other ways to show your love and sneak away whenever you can

 

 - my heart hurts for single moms/ dads

 

- the first week of my sons life was the most selfish I have ever been, baby blues and regret are normal and it goes away

 

- my husband needs to have a say in all things baby, except poop, he doesn't like poop

 

- feeding a baby solids is messy,I'm talking turnin' on a blender with grape juice in it without the cap messy, don't even think about saving to many of the 9-12 month clothes

 

-  denture wearing silly old men from the grocery store can make your baby smile, old ladies freak them out and leave them smelling perfumey and musty

 

-bundling up a baby in winter and getting them in their carseat...impossible.

 

-if you have a boy, they will treat their "anatomy" as if it were removable. 

 

- nothing is cuter then a gummy smile, until they get a one tooth smile

 

- according to a baby, socks are optional. Even in the dead of winter. They also double as a chew toy

 

- a naked baby= a super human baby, they crawl away faster, wiggle faster, and pee all over you before you even have time to blink. They are also the happiest

 

- the fourth trimester needs its own what to expect book. Can I get an AMEN!

 

- a grandparents love is furious, if something happened to you, they would be amazing stand-ins

 

- take hand me downs. It's not about being proud, save your money for making memories, they never remember the clothes they wore.

 

- its all cute when baby starts to find their voice, but they somehow know when the most dramatic part of a show is on

 

- peek a boo is an art, there is a fine line between silly and serial killer

 

- your already good lookin spouse is ten times hotter with your smiling baby in their arms

 

 - family comes first, sorry but your not included in that, baby and spouse are before you

 

- restaurant high hairs are death traps for a wiggly baby , but the straps are always so gross

 

- picking your child's boogers is normal, until you notice the guy across the room staring at you, then you remember it might actually be a little disgusting  

 

- you may rejoice when baby stops spitting up, only to be horrified to find how gross real throw up is, you'll be begging for spit up

 

- somehow, unbeknown to mankind, poop comes out of a butt and travels stealthily to back of neck

 

- daddy has to lay down the law, mommy deals with the bodily functions, both get paid in love and smiles, no complaining

 

- getting ready to go out for a 1 hour grocery shop must be carefully planned, feed, change diaper, pack up, drive= 30min ,shop= 10 of  your finest shopping minutes, 20 min to re pack up and drive home. make lists.

 

- to others in line at the store you look like you're talking to yourself, to you you're talking to a tiny baby, what's wrong with that?

 

- breast pump= farmer John said, " sure if it works for cows, why not?" , also " sorry females, I hate you" 

 

- nursing pads, boobie band aides?

 

- the box the cool new toy came in is better then the toy

 

- you call my baby boy a girl one more time and I am going to shove his blue shirt with a dinosaur on it, his  blue pants with tough guy written on the leg, and his blue pacifier with a little monster on it, right up your nose! 

 

- waiter,please stop asking if my obviously under 6 month old baby would like anything off the menu, pretty sure you know he doesn't.

 

- although I understand car seats need to be really safe, however they need not be as confusing as a rubix cube. I just wanna go to the store, not solve quadratic equations.

 

- I have a ton of  questions, most of which can only be answered through experience, soooo that's annoying.

 

- consider drugging your baby been flying, a little Tylenol never hurt anyone, and other passengers won't get all scowly. 

- I prefer going out with others who have babies that way when mine cries they give me the " we understand" look while everyone else is giving me the " shut that baby up look".. I used to give that look

 

- sometimes I stop and laugh at myself because I realize I have a diaper on my head, a pacifier in my mouth, socks on my hands, and I'm making a weird animal noises at my baby

 

- jeans are only worn out, never around the house, lounge pants work way better for crawling around

 

-at some point I had to say SIDS shimds, and let loose a little

 

-However, every time my son sleeps the entire night I still wake up frantic that he is not breathing, or stolen.

- BTW who steals kids anyways? Sickos

 

- my son peed all over my dress the day of my sisters wedding, I laughed. When did pee become funny?

 

- My sons name is Asher, my dogs name is Oliver, I frequently get them mixed up

-I talk about how much I want another one, and my husband keeps saying not now, but the day he says ok lets do it, I will probably throw up.

 

 

 

Most Importantly, the one thing I have learned in the last 9 months...

                             None of us know what it was like to be a baby, so as parents we must indulge, take pictures, live in the moment, remember the feelings, and always, keep being silly, no matter how ridiculous we may look. Oh and make sure to take off the old diaper and put on the new one fast.

A New Horizon

Living in the gray wishing for Black or white

      In life I find that the hardest moments are always somewhere between what you want, and what you want. When decisions are less then clear cut and regardless of the outcome, always marked with regret. It’s like the saying, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” But what happens if the lemons aren’t ripe enough and leave a bitter taste in your mouth? What if what I really wanted to make was lemon meringue pie and I simply settled for lemonade because it’s what I thought I was supposed to do. Living in the proverbial land of gray is just that, gray. It’s desolate and bleak. A sort of purgatory while you wait for what may or may not be heaven. Don’t get me wrong, the light at the end of the tunnel is enough to brighten my gray world, and if it wasn’t for gray I would never have made it to the blacks or the whites in my life, which have undoubtedly formed who I am.  The gray is always the place I spend the least time but it also sees me at my most impatient. It knows my annoying quirks and probably thinks I am crazy. Without question to be in the gray is to be in the unknown...

Ecclesiastes 3:1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

     To further clarify, White is Rochester, MN and Black is Albert Lea, MN. Before the assumption, Albert Lea being black has nothing to do with bad. I know when things get bad we tend to see them has turning dark but in this case that isn’t what I mean. I would put them both as white if I could but white and white just do not equal gray, thus making the title statement unfitting. ANYWAYS, Matt’s current job has been very gracious and is allowing him to be the first-ever work from home detailer they have had. This, as you can imagine, would be most people’s ideal work scenario. Wake up, get ready, walk downstairs, work, come upstairs for lunch, walk back down to finish out the day. Matt has always talked and dreamt about working from home, ever since we have been together.  He makes the perfect amount for me to stay at home and raise our son and still put food on the table and we have been blessed with so many opportunities through his job that I know we would have never thought possible. So for his boss to allow him to work from home is more than a blessing, it is yet again another testament  to how good god really is. God has a funny way of reminding you that regardless of what you think, you’re not in control of your life, he is. We spent countless hours praying about what our next step in life should be. When it almost seemed like maybe god wasnt listening, he flooded us with encouragment. It was an amazing experience...

      

       So here comes my gray area. The majority of Matt’s family is in Albert Lea, as is some of mine. BUT have a house we love in Rochester, the place we brought our son home to on his second day of life, the place we made our own together. But we have no family, and although they are wonderful friends, very few in Rochester.  It has been a difficult decision on what to do. But I think we both always knew where our hearts were, it’s just working out all the details that seems to get in the way. 

      

  To simply spell it out, WE ARE MOVING TO ALBERT LEA THIS SATURDAY (Nov. 5^th). Matthew, Me, Asher and two really stupid dogs are invading my father-in-laws house for 9 or so months. We cannot sell our house until July.  We describe it as a trial period. If it works in Albert lea, and we love it there, we can stay and get our own place and sell our house in Rochester. If not, hey, we have a house still in Rochester.

       

      We are very excited to reconnect with old friends and make plenty of new ones.(Especially ones with kids, Asher needs friends bad :)  )  I want to apologize to anyone we did not tell earlier, like has sort of taken over, as well as trying to pack with a 7 month old who cant stay in one place longer then a second, and a husband that works full time. It has been beyond difficult so I figured it best to blog about it to let most everyone know all at once. Our life is changing drastically, again. Seems like my gypsy, serial moving ways have finally caught up with me, and now I realize just how hard it is to move. And I am only packing necessities at this point.  Packing up a small child’s things is nearly impossible, since once you pack a toy away; it seems to be the only one he wants. Regardless, we will be there on Saturday, trailer full of baby stuff, and the few things of ours that actually fit after. I just have to keep telling myself we are doing it for Asher. Otherwise, after trying to pack things, I may have instead chosen to die in this house, or burn it to the ground. .. All kidding aside, We are very eager to start our life in Albert Lea, to show Asher all the best play grounds, bring him to the lake, and feed him plaza morena as a staple in his diet.  Most of all to enjoy spending time with the amazing, and loving bunch of people that comes with living in there. 

ALBERT LEA, HERE WE COME!!...

A Day At The Park

Where the Sidewalk Ends
from the book "Where the Sidewalk Ends" (1974)

There is a place where the sidewalk ends
and before the street begins,
and there the grass grows soft and white,
and there the sun burns crimson bright,
and there the moon-bird rests from his flight
to cool in the peppermint wind.

Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
and the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
we shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow
and watch where the chalk-white arrows go
to the place where the sidewalk ends.

Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
and we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
for the children, they mark, and the children, they know,
the place where the sidewalk ends.

Today, Asher and myself decided it was about time we take our first trip to the park down the street. Earlier last week I had put Asher in his bouncer, it's the kind that hangs from a door frame, and I began to push him in it like a swing. Although his legs were still hitting the ground he laughed and laughed. I knew it was time to hit the park and show him what a real swing was made of.

**DISCLAIMER** Asher is not normally dressed so, um, terribly. I promise. It was my first time having to find him "play clothes". disregard the stained up shirt and mismatched pants :)

THE SWINGS

 

 

FLYING

You may notice things other then legs hanging out of the swing. Turns out the swing is a little large for a 6 month old. So we improvised and packed random things from our diaper bag inside the seat with Asher.

Swinging is, for obvious reasons, VERY FUNNY!

 Swinging, as you can imagine, took a lot out of us, so we decided to take a little break and chew on a toy.

Break time was over, now to conquer the SLIDE!  

DUN DUN DUUUNNNNN!!!......

 READY SET GO!!!

Hmm, maybe not as enthused as we thought we would be. But nonetheless, the slide was conquered!

For the first time ever, Asher is introduced to sand. He would squish his feet into it and wiggle them all around. He loved how it felt

Despite trying to eat the sand multiple times, Asher learned it still fun to play with it even if it can't go in his mouth.

Our day at the park had come to end. The clouds were rolling in and the wind had really started picking up. It was time to go home. I strapped Asher into his stroller and started walking back to the house. The whole way home he was smiling and babbeling BABA MAMAMAMA EEEEEEEE AHHAHHH. I think he was telling his toys about his fun day at the park.

But wait! The fun didn't stop there! What else could we have possibly done you ask? Well, we realized just how dirty sand is and we had to get clean. And just for fun.....

Hide under the coffee table :)

Finders Keepers?

     After coming home last weekend from what was a very eventful, fun, and exhausting weekend up in the cities, I was getting Asher ready for bed while my husband was unloading the car and putting things away. To my surprise he came into my sons room and said, oooppss, I didn't realize the box wasn't for us." He had, unknowingly opened a package that was sitting at our doorstep only to notice that the receipt on top of the merchandise was addressed to someone else. He said the paper said something about fruity pebbles, so I'm thinking, do people really order cereal online too? wow. I guess if you can get a good deal. It took me a while to get Asher all tucked into bed and to sleep before I could check out this mystery cereal box for myself. As I fumbled over the receipt looking for the address of the original owner I notice on the header "LIA SOPHIA JEWELRY". My curiosity got the best of me as I looked for the fruity pebbles only to find it was the name of a necklace. At the bottom of the receipt I see a total of  $418.00. There in, starts my major dilemma. I had in my hands, over four hundred dollars of jewelry, that, if I kept it no one would ever know I had it. It was free, it was a Summer miracle. I had worked hard this year, I was pregnant, had a baby,and started school for my bachelors degree. Our family has given up a lot of our creature comforts and "gifts to ourselves" in order to have a child and for me to stay home and raise him. I haven't bought a single piece of jewelry in over a year, not even a turn your finger green ring from the quarter machine. I DESERVED THIS. I opened up all the boxes just basking in their glory. Thinking about what clothes they would match, where I would wear some of the pieces first, and getting a little pouty about the fact that there were only 1 pair of earrings. 

      

     In the midst of my greed driven party for one I realized what may happen to the person these are for. If your not familiar with Lia Sophia it is one of those pyramid type companies, someone has a  party, people buy the product, and the party host delivers the merchandise. So what happens when the pre paid  merchandise does not make it to the host? She is out $418.00. What if she is just like me? A stay at home mom, only this is her one way of making some sort of income. My greed could ruin her. If I had 400+ dollars taken from me, it could sink my family. Was I the type of person to do that to someone?

     The next morning, I called her. Because I had no packing tape I figured it would be safer for her to come get it rather then me leaving it on her doorstep for someone else to look into or steal. She told me she had to run an errand then she would be over. I thought that odd. I had almost half a thousand dollars worth of her stuff, I was only 2 streets away, and she wasn't going to come get it first? 

     The day progressed and finally by 2pm, (I had called her at 9am) She called and said she was on her way. I waited at the window watching every mini van and SUV pass without stopping. If she was a mommy like me where is her mommy vehicle? I have a baby friendly SUV so she must too. A few minutes later a tiny little 2 door sport car pulls up into my driveway and a 20 something girl steps out. OK, so maybe shes not EXACTLY like me. I handed her the box and waited for the thank yous and There just aren't enough people like you in the worlds. But nothing, not even an I'm glad you called. So I told her my husband opened it by mistake, but could you just believe my excitement when I saw what was inside! She just looked at me and said yea, I went on a little shopping spree...

     I should have kept it! I should have gotten to look pretty, and feel special in my new jewelry. She didn't deserve it, she didn't pop out a kid and give up her whole identity for the title of mom. She didn't have to cut off her once long blond hair because it was falling out in clumps and her child was using it as a safety rope to hold on too. Her tummy isn't weird looking, and shes not eating chicken everyday ensure that she looks like she did pre-baby. Her chest doesn't change sizes dependent on the time of day. That jewelry was going to dangle from my neck, wrists and ears, and make me feel like a real woman again. Instead she will just add it to her already to full armoire, wear it once and forget about it. 

     She pulled out of the driveway and after all my ranting and raving in my head I couldn't help but think, Why do I think I am so entitled? She doesn't owe me anything, the jewelry was hers, I didn't pay for it, I would have just been stealing it. Why did I think my life was so dramatically changed borderline ruined? I have a husband who loves me unconditionally, a child who loves me without hesitation, and a career of staying home and simply being a mom that many working moms would give anything to have. Sometimes I need a slap in the face and a voice that tells me "You've got what you have always wanted, the only thing you lack is the ability to be content. Learn how." I can only speak for myself but I assume that most of us think we need more, we need bigger and better and we forget that everytime we wish for something more or covet anothers life we are leaving those who love us behind. Its selfish. My son didn't ask to be born, I asked to have him. I knew what came with a child, so why was I feeling like I deserved jewelry because of my efforts. I HAVE A CHILD, that's my compensation. I don't need jewelry to feel pretty, I HAVE A HUSBAND, who didn't marry me because of the rocks hanging off my limbs. He's seen me without makeup, during child birth, and unable to hold my liquor, he knows me at my worst and still loves me. 

 So here are the lessons I have learned:

1. I probably should have been put in jail for tampering with US mail.

2. Just because the lady with the jewelry wasn't like me right now doesn't mean I wasn't just like her at one point.

3.Material objects cannot smile at you, kiss you, laugh with you, love you or change your life. Especially if they are stolen.

4. I WILL be blessed by god for giving it back, somehow, I have no doubt, he recognizes our struggles and rewards our good decisions. He gives us tests and its up to us to pass them.

5. After the age of 6, finders keepers doesn't pertain to you.